Rambling for Ted

Someone asked me, today, if I’d rather be deaf or blind. Without thought, I said deaf, because that’s always been my answer. But then, without fail, you came to mind—as you always do, regardless of the situation—and I thought of the ways you weave about my thoughts from memory to memory but I couldn’t recall one where every one of my senses wasn’t heightened with excitement because that’s what you do to me. You make me senseless, but my senses go crazy and are at their strongest when I’m with you.

That scent that sits so sweetly on your soft, sunny skin slides through my mind and sends me spinning. I remember one night when we were watching a movie and I lied across your lap and leaned into you, and you smelled like yourself—clean, cool and warm. I miss that so much.

That feeling you give me when our skins caress each other leaves my body like a spot where lightning has struck twice; I get hot, electric, feel beautiful and transparent with your touch. I remember one night, we laid in the back of your car, doing nothing but holding one another; I was in your arms. I was safe, un-scared, falling more in love with you.

That long-lasting luster when your lips lock with mine leaves me clinging to the moment, gripping to the passion that soaks me every second you share your love with me.

And that voice, those looks. That tone, those glances of desire, trust, truth, readiness, love. The thought to not hear, to not see what you mean to show me through each stomach-dropping sigh and heart-stopping gaze scares me. I hate the idea of not knowing you to the fullest; you’re the world to me and to miss out on any piece would push me to a low I’ve never known. The first time we met, I looked you straight in the eyes and I didn’t know what to say because I’d been waiting for that instant since the first time I saw you three years before. I finally opened my mouth (but I forget what I said) and when you answered my utterances with your mesmerizing voice, my knees nearly yanked me to the ground; I was weak. You were a work of art to me and you’ve continued to be through this time we’ve been together and I can’t even imagine what my life would be if you couldn’t sweep me off my feet every time you look at me or if I wouldn’t tremble in my seat when you whisper something sweet. To picture missing out on one of the two last things paints me a picture, incomplete. I hope to always hear and to always see. I need every bit of you, so I guess I need every bit of me.